It is imperative when you build a structure of any kind that it has a strong foundation.  Without a strong foundation, it will eventually fall apart.  Often times we try to run too far ahead in the building process and our foundations get neglected.

When people are trying to build a house, they get so excited about the décor that they forget about the base on which it’s built.  They forget about run-off, quality of materials, craftsmanship, proper techniques, sealing surfaces for long-term use…etc.  When people have a dream and decide to venture out on their own to build a business they often forget the essentials and foundational items necessary to succeed.  The dream sometimes overshadows the necessities and the structure of the business suffers.  Often times people get discouraged and quit because they aren’t great athletes the first time they try something but they haven’t invested the necessary time and practice to build a core foundation to build on.  It’s a process, not magic.

Relationships most definitely fall under the strong foundation theme.  Many young couples base their relationships on the wrong things and ignore the core foundations.  Attraction, touch, sex, temporary satisfaction and sometimes even basic companionship aren’t enough to sustain.  What is the core of the relationship?  Do you have common spiritual convictions?  Do you have similar dreams?  Do you have a good friendship (“you can’t be lovers if you can’t be friends”).  Do you have good communication?  Do you have similar goals?  Do you have a bond beyond sensual because there may be seasons where you are apart?

P.S.  Sex should be considered a bonus (after marriage) and not a foundational factor.

Sara and I celebrated five years of marriage this weekend and it feels like we’re just warming up.  We courted for four years prior to marriage to build a foundation before we jumped into something that is supposed to be forever.  Divorce has run rampant in my family and I’m determined to break a generational curse.  We ironed out a lot of things prior to marriage that a lot of couples don’t get into until it’s too late.  We encouraged each other to build our personal relationships with Christ both deeper and stronger.  This allowed us to be confident in whom we are in Christ individually thus making us even stronger as a couple.  That has been a huge foundational pillar for us.  We really haven’t had to deal with a lot of struggles that many other couples have because we’ve done our best to do it right in the eyes of Christ.  Are we perfect…NO.  We are however striving for perfection, willing to ask for assistance and/or accountability where needed and we’re willing to disciple and be discipled in multiple areas.

Our relationship with Christ is very similar.  Our foundation comes from reading His Word (The Bible), spending time in prayer/worship and in corporate fellowship (accountability and discipleship).  If we aren’t willing to seek some sort of depth, we’re just going through the motions and our spiritual house will crumble at the first sign of a storm (temptations, struggles, other pressures…etc).  What are you doing to build stronger foundations?  It’s not something you can just wish you had/have, it’s an action that you must to be willing to take.


Good stuff, babe! And we are just getting warmed up :) I think another important thing in our relationship is that we encourage each other to cultivate our individual hobbies and interests and to have "guy time" and "girl time" with our own sets of friends. We love each other but we don't smother each other :)

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