I am reminded today of why I refuse to settle for status quo.  The headlines on the local news channels and local papers are crowded with more crimes committed by my very own extended family members.  Sometimes when certain things happen quite often or certain people act particular ways so regularly, we just get numb to it when new things occur.

Beginning at a very young age I have had various family members commit crimes that are not only embarrassing and crippling to the family but are detrimental to society as a whole.  I have seen various levels of punishment but rarely justice is served by the damage already done physically and emotionally.  My family has a history of alcoholism, multiple drug addictions, homelessness, drug trafficking, rape, multiple thefts, domestic violence, vandalism, multiple divorces, adultery, liars, mental illnesses, bastard children, multiple automobile violations, abuse (physical and emotional), multiple prison vacations and the list goes on and on.  Just when I think we’ve set the bar pretty high on the criminal meter… a cousin vandalizes multiple buses and steals one while intoxicated.  Didn’t think of that one!  I’m just glad most of these people have different last names than I do!

Many of these people know right from wrong and still continue to selfishly do stupid things without thinking about those around them that it might affect.  Sometimes family members and society encourage such behavior by rewarding them instead of the tough love they need.  For instance, my Grandma has bailed family out of jail so many times, puts her house up for bail and lets them (ages 0-60) live with her and mooch off of her to unthinkable extents.  She is one of the most loving and hospitable people in the world and I understand her position but being an enabler doesn’t help remedy the character.  It puts me in a tough situation because even though you love people (especially family), sometimes you just don’t like them and it’s tough to minister to them when you’re purposely distancing yourself for safety purposes (and also for accomplice purposes).  I’ve seen the damage it has done over the years and it’s important for me to protect myself and my immediate family from anyone that poses a threat.

I made it a point, years ago, to set standards for myself to be different than the example set by many in my very own family.  I didn’t want to fall into the traps of this world and look back with regrets.  I did my best to put a line in the sand and stay far off of it so that if I did fall I would still be on the right side.  I’ve had plenty of struggles, especially in early college years, but I purposely surrounded myself with people that would kick my butt if I strayed too far from the right path.  I initiated accountability and set goals for myself to become better than the day before.  I still do these things and have all intentions of breaking generational curses that have seemed to haunt many of our family members and friends.  I’m now 32 years old and seem to be on the right path but I will not back down from my pursuit to be a better man of God than I was yesterday.  I can’t earn God’s love and grace because He loves me anyways and gives me a tremendous amount of undeserved grace but I want Him to like me too.  If I do my part, it makes it easier on both of us!  I welcome your prayers for healing and restoration in my family for current and future generations!


I read this blog and it breaks my heart, but is so true. Life is a choice. We can choose to make excuses, to not apply ourselves, and to blame our choices in life on the hand we were dealt. Or we can choose to rise above, to better ourselves, and to be reputable examples in society. You and I have great work ethics, Christian ethics, and an overall responsibility to society to be accountable for our actions. Some people just do not have accountability for their actions and will hurt anyone along the way to get what they want. The sad part is when people that live this lifestyle have children. As a mother, I have raised the bar for my child… to provide for them more physically and emotionally, be a great role model, be truly involved in their lives, and show them love. Not just saying “I love you” and kissing them at night, but to SHOW them love. I love their Daddy, my husband, the love of my life. We love our neighbors, baking cookies or helping them in the yard. We love our Jesus Christ and have relationship with him through Biblical reading, prayer, and conversation. We love our church and give of ourselves. We love the people outside of Walmart and we teach them to give to show them how to love a stranger. We love the old ladies at Granny’s nursing home by being respectful to them and singing them Jesus Loves Me to make them smile. It takes so very little to show love. It hurts to know that children have parents that selfishly choose to bring them into this world and then continue to not have accountability to society. To selfishly surround their children with drug addicts, criminals, alcoholics, and bottom feeders. I pray for these children that they choose to rise above.

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